Saturday, October 16, 2010

Run And Tell That, Homeboy.

Dear Perry Meridian Drumline -

I just wanted to write a little something to you all. I wasn't one of the loud ones on the line, and I feel like explaining a few things that I couldn't find words for until now.

I didn't join Marching Band because of someone older whom I looked up to, or because a spot was needed, or whatever. I joined mostly because Sascha Simpson was a friend of mine that I lost contact with a few years ago, and I wanted to do a little something in honor of his memory while joining something I've always wanted to try.

My first year in Marching Band, I was playing vibes in the pit. For my senior year, I decided to join the battery.

From the first day I put that drum on my shoulders, I have not regretted it. I'll never forget those June and July practices, the day we practiced outside and it rained off and on with choking humidity in between. All those days that we didn't have a full line. I remember missing Band Camp so that I could be in New Orleans, building a house - and there was a Band Camp going on a block away from the site.

I remember how some practices made me ask myself if I had a place in this line. For the longest time, I felt like I was holding you all back from greatness. A principal violist in the Chamber Orchestra on the drumline? A senior marching for her first - and last - season, just NOW learning the ropes? What could possibly come from that?

Well, the person I am today came from that. I'm not only proud of how I've personally improved and grown as a drummer (you have no idea how much I love calling myself that - just as much as I love calling myself a violist), but I'm so proud of ALL of you. We've all grown from what we've accomplished this season.

Looking at it from a personal view, I will tell you honestly that I was not here for the competitions. I was not here to be the best drummer ever. I was not here to escape anything in my life. I didn't walk into this to find a place to fit in. I didn't join drumline for a lot of reasons. I still don't know half of what you all know about drums and playing them - I always learned from you all, and I learned a lot.

I joined drumline because I wanted to make music, and I wanted to make music that I couldn't possibly play in any other venue.
I ended up marching what has been the best show I've ever seen at Perry in my six years of being on this side of the township.

Could we be better? Yes, there's always room to become better.
But right now, the only thing that I can see holding us back is negativity.
Don't let anybody's bad attitude or bad habits - not even your own towards yourself - get in your brain. It'll only fester and grow if you let it in, and that never helps anybody.

Here's a random epiphany I came to not long ago.
We are a powerful line, concerning personalities. We're loud, we're boisterous, and we're proud of who we're becoming.
That's great that we have that family feel going on, the kind of family that always makes fun of each other and makes a ruckus in public settings.
But never let your ego get in the way of your sticks.

As some of you know, I'm not joining winter. It's not entirely because of money, or needing a job, or people on the line, or disinterest.
I have not lost my passion for drums. I'm marching next year when I go to college, for crying out loud. It's not a loss of interest whatsoever.
It took a while to find words to go with reason.

It's simply due to a feeling of needing to move on, almost.
I had such a time with you all. I loved some of it, I hated some of it. I wouldn't take any of it back for the world.
But it's time for me to focus on other things, learn rudiments for college and whatever instrument they decide to put me on at Marian, and keep up my position as a violist.

I know you all may not understand this. And I know you all may be disappointed in me, a little bit.
But I have faith in you. This drumline has an aura of greatness, an aura of passion. That alone is rare. Every single one of you has it, and you won't lose it.

I'm going to miss being with you every day. I'm going to miss making perverted jokes, Kirsht's fist pumps, Owen's troll face, quoting Pulp Fiction, Chris rapping, Katie calling me a million different names. I'm going to miss you all.
But my place isn't in this winter drumline. My place is on the outside, watching you all perform your hearts out, potentially shedding a tear or two. I'll be there.

In short, I guess all that's left to say is simply thanks.
Thanks for teaching this old senior how things roll. (haha...punz)

You are my family. And I love you all.

-Foxy

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